You Like Dogs?

 “You like dags?” (Snatch)

Something happened.

Ya, just the one thing. It was weird, but not a harbinger.

I let the dogs out the front to door and went to grab firewood.
My little ‘un bolted for the road.
Car comin’.
Fuck.

Normally I would freak the actual fuck out.

Not today.

That was my only thought, ‘not today’. She stopped just short of the road, suddenly having to pee.
Car went by. We came inside.

Got me thinking, ‘how is a raven like a writing desk?’

Kidding.

How is a having a relationship like having a dog?

No, not how are men like dogs. That’s been done.

Once upon a time I worked at a Lodge in the Muskokas. Beautiful place. I only had tiny dog then. One night, there was a bear in the woods. Of course I posted about it on Facebook. A woman I know practically ordered me to keep Alice (tiny dog) INSIDE, locked down, forever.

Um, no.

Where is the quality of life there? Keep her in a cage, only taking her out when it’s safe or convenient. Alice came to every cabin I cleaned, slept on the porches. Her saddest times were alone in our cabin when I worked dinner service. She didn’t know she couldn’t go hang out in the dining room, learned that the hard way. She has some boundary issues, all laps are hers. All day every day she was free to roam. She disappeared a few times, but she always came back.

On average, relationships last the same amount of time as a dog, either in actual linear time, or you can whip out the age calculator. Same same.

The more fancy/popular/high maintenance the dog, the shorter the lifespan. The yappier, snappier ones? They don’t last long.

I have 2 dogs. Alice I have had since she was wee. I did everything right with her, she went with me everywhere. I left her behind for a few months when I got divorced. She picked up some bad habits in my absence. I refuse to give up on her as I am the one to blame here.

I have a rescue. We call her ‘Black Dog’. Not like Winston Churchill’s black dog, this one brings joy.

Black Dog is hand shy, broom shy, stick shy, vacuum shy, or she was. She had the tiniest accident one day and started screaming like she was on fire. I have never heard a dog scream before. She thought I was going to beat her. As soon as I realized what was happening, I dropped to my knees and cried with her until she stopped, I cried longer.

It’s been a long road. She is alright now.

My job is to love, feed, play, keep them healthy and safe. 

I am their caregiver, I don’t own them, I will not keep them on lockdown.

They do as they please and this pleases me.

I don’t dress them up either, Alice has a ‘Thundershirt’, but that is different.

(My KINGDOM for a Thundershirt for the Man.)

How are men like dogs?

They forgive and forget at lightning speed, unless it’s a grievous wrong, then you just cry with them until they trust you.
They are always happy when you get home.
They hump your leg.
They know when they are safe and loved.
They keep you safe and love you back.

They do not want to be jammed in your purse while you have wine with the girls or go shopping.

Just give them a bone and leave them home to nap in the sun.