My buddy messaged me this morning in a slight panic.
“The strippers got me really drunk and I accidentally let slip some feelings for the unicorn.”
This whiskey tastes like I am about to tell you how I really feel.
“She messaged back with 4 hearts, so that’s good right?”
He has found himself a unicorn girl. Nigh impossible upon this island of harpies and sirens.
Yes. It okay.
Everything will be okay in the end.
If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
See also, nothing is the end of the world except the actual end of the world, and then it really doesn’t matter now does it.
There are no accidents really.
Que cera cera whatever will be will be, the futures not ours to see…
I also told him that everything is as it should be, so don’t stress too much about drunk texts.
They are the bane of my existence too. Trust.
I am not working next Tuesday either.
Not one of my finer moments.
I try to live a life without regret, however, there are times when I should not be allowed to have my phone which happen to be the moments where I hold it most ferociously.
I once said “whiskey wants to know when you are coming home.”
That particular drunk text was well received and that whole situation went fine until it didn’t. And that is the secret dear friends, it’s all gonna be fine until it isn’t. Then we mourn, deal and move forward.
Apparently some scientists got together and decided that our true authentic selves come out when we are inebriated. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am saucy when sauced. Sometimes a puddle and sometimes very brave. Always babbling like a brook.
But we knew this. Drunk words = sober thoughts.
I also know how good it feels to find a unicorn after a long drought of nothingness. You start to believe you will never have the good sex, good conversations, good vibes ever again, and it sucks. So the fear of losing them exists, whether its rational or not.
I know more about how he feels about his unicorn than she does.
Fucking Libras and the chasing of the ladies. This drunken slip of the tongue came on the heels of a “victory” wherein he got her to message him first. This is not a game, it’s not war. I believe in telling people how you feel.
It is okay to be vulnerable sometimes. Stay too guarded and the truth won’t come out. That is the only real thing to ever regret. The chances you didn’t take, the words you didn’t say.
I am here aren’t I?
Alternately, tell the truth and run.
Speaking of, I think I am having some preemptive empathy for said drunk friend.
“My current situation? One of us is gonna show the other our throat soon. And it’s probably gonna be me. Shark week cometh and the whiskey floweth… ya, it’s definitely gonna be me.”
The baring of the throat is vulnerability.
Out of the 500+ articles I have written on here I would say about 90% involve feelings of some sort. As in ‘I tripped and fell in some feelings’.
I do this, it is my natural state of being. And honestly, for all the times I have failed, which have been all for the record, I still wouldn’t trade it. I like being like this.
Sometimes brave, sometimes vulnerable, always all in.
There is a word on this island for what I am sometimes. Sooky.
I used to call it sucky. As in I am sucky as fuck right now.
Well not right now, but I can feel it coming. I can feel a lot of things coming. It’s about time.
Anyone who knows me, knows I ebb and flow. It’s just what I do. And somedays I am a glorious goddess that can take on the world others I need my blanket and a hug.
Sometimes my blanket is a person.
Me: refer to the conversation a few days ago wherein I told you “you look at me like you want to tear me apart”. I know what you think of me.
Nope: You think you do
Me: this is true, I am not a mind reader. Body language, yes. Minds, no.
My Biker Body Pillow used to say that I could predict future behavior by remembering every fucking thing that has ever happened to me in the history of ever and seeing patterns. I can read situations like Rain Man counts cards.
And the Nope is right, I only think I know things. Maybe I am wrong about everything.
Que cera cera.
The thought of a unicorn person comes and a song begins to play: Neil Young, “Heart Of Gold”.
The universe takes little notice and has less respect for the things we imagine we know, and it doesn’t do straight lines and right angles, its motions are circular and turbulent flows.
Chuang Tzu told a story of Confucius watching an old man go over a waterfall. He expected the man to wash up dead at the bottom, but he was unharmed. The old man explained that he was able to do this by not doing anything contrary to the way of the water.