The Hulk

Strip club co-workers have been responsible for some of the sweetest utterances I have ever heard,

“I don’t need you with me I just need to know you exist.”

“I am so glad you were born.”

and

“I don’t want to be anywhere but under your wings when you get mad.”

This new one is definitely under my wings, in the safe place.

Speaking of wings.

And lo the Angel of the Lord appeared unto some shepherds totally freaking them out, and he said a bunch of shit which included bringing ‘tidings of comfort and joy’.

This girl (yes me) puts her hand up, clears her throat and says

“Um no. that is not in the bible, that is just what the song says. And isn’t the concept of comfort and joy an oxymoron, like ‘friendly fire’?”

The Angel of the Lord rolled his eyes and in a great booming voice replied

“Ya, I’ve heard about you.
Shepherds, go for a walk.
Not you missy. Sit your ass down, we gotta talk.” 

The shepherds all scurried off and left the two of them alone. The Angel of the Lord cleared his throat and said,

“When is a metaphor not a metaphor?”

It became her turn for the rolling of eyes
“Lose the cryptic, I am not in the mood. Comfort and joy sound like safety and exhilaration to me, they cannot co-exist.”

“That is where you are wrong puddin’. Remember the Hulk?”

She did, and her eyes lit up at the memory of it. The roller-coaster in Florida she couldn’t shut up about. The one with the magnetic propulsion system that launched you into a blind curve at 70 miles an hour. Strapped in, safe with all the padding in the world and yet, every time that last car hit the magnets she thought she was flying into space. And it was addictive and it was good forever and ever AMEN.

Went on that thing until my legs shook and then a few times after that. Somehow my brain would forget while I was in line that this was indeed safe and for a split second I thought, okay this is it, this is the time it breaks and we are going to sail off into nothing. What a cool way to die, this sensation of flight.

This feels familiar. Crazy deja vu, I have often dreamt of flying and falling.

Despite how thoroughly I was tucked in, I still thought I might die and it was kinda wonderful.

Loved everything about it, the waiting, the anticipation, the fear, the comfort mixed with joy.
All of it.

ooooooh, there it is.

When is a metaphor not a metaphor?

When it’s a simile, and a triple entendre.

The Hulk huh? The man, the monster, and the ride.

Holy trinity making my legs shake.

God I love being wrong, and this is why.