Angel, angel or devil, I was thirsty, and you wet my lips.
U2, Trip Through Your Wires
This meme really pissed me off.
For a myriad of reasons.
The obvious… ‘a right woman’. Should have read ‘a good woman’ or ‘the right woman’, but alas, grammatically correcting memes is a task without purpose or end.
But seriously.
The concept of a ‘good woman’ is open to interpretation. What is good for some is bad for others. I should know. I am for all intents and purposes a good woman. I don’t nag, cheat, steal or lie. I am supportive and loving, forgiving and accommodating. I also exhibit devilish behavior. I am wanton, I don’t bow down to rules written by men on behalf of an imaginary sky daddy. I used to smoke and drink. I still cuss and I love to fuck.
Just as the concept of ‘good man’ or devil is relative. I prefer horns, to me those are the good men.
I also believe that ‘right’ is a malleable term that can change and warp over time. Yes, that was the right outfit to wear in 2002, but I no longer have the fashion sense of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in her cardigans and chunky heels.
I also think that change is good, just not forced change, or denial of who someone is at their core for our own comfort.
I am really sick and tired of the idea that we need to find one human in our 20’s that we don’t mind fucking, and then just fuck them until we die.
I realize monogamy was not mentioned in the offensive meme of offensiveness. But hear me out.
Let’s say you actually find a devil and that is not what you want.
Hell is empty (after all) and the devils are all here.
There are 7.7 billion people on the planet. Why pick one that is not exactly what you are looking for and then try to bend them and break them into a shape you like better? Why grind their horns down until their magic and power are lost?
If someone made a meme about ripping the wings off angels to suit our purposes, there would be a mighty ruckus. But from all accounts I have read, angels are subservient, sycophantic and pretty boring. Vanilla really.
Speaking of angels, Mister Rogers said that love is the action of loving someone as they are moment to moment as they are, not how you want them to be. I am paraphrasing but I think he would forgive me.
He acknowledged that people change in a good way.
Change is great, I love change. But forcing someone to deny who they really are and change to suit your agenda is wrong.
Devils aren’t for everyone, I get that. They run hot and passionate, there is a bit of underlying evil that can be misconstrued as cruelty if you don’t know what you are looking at. But the original Lucifer was God’s favorite and the most beautiful among the angels, he was cast out of heaven for arguing with god. Personally, none of that sounds bad to me.
I usually love a good devil and a good debate. But I am not omnipotent, and I understand that I have been wrong, I will be wrong again and it isn’t the end of the world if I am.
And for the record…the Satanic bible has thou shall not rape in it’s commandments, actually goes so far as to say thou shall not even hit on a woman who is not interested in you so, ya…god dropped the ball on that one.
I just don’t think the devil is as bad as he has been made out to be.
This meme reminds me of the one that says women are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It’s my blog, I can go adjacent to topic for a minute. Hush now.
I mean really, someone is raising them. They exist, these bad men. Brock Turner had a mom. I have met horrible men, dated a couple. They scare and infuriate me. But I wouldn’t call them devils, they aren’t that cool. Demons are fallen angels and these incels have no soul at all. I wouldn’t imbue them with supernatural qualities, they are trolls if anything. Angry misshapen men who lurk in the darkness and fantasize about taking what they haven’t earned. Who raised them?
I have a devil child, I do. He is a giant pain in my ass. He is passionate and strong. He doesn’t just blindly follow rules, which is great now, but was a little tricksy when he was 5.
Did I raise him as well as I could have?
No, see above where I am not infallible.
However. He is a good man. And for that I am grateful. I will take a small bit of credit for this. I raised him without shame and fear.
He fucked up, I fucked up and we talked about it. He knows it isn’t the end of the world. And he is stronger for it. He also knows he doesn’t have to be strong 24/7. He has the seemingly rare ability to express his feelings and not worry about this being construed as weakness.
I say rare, but I see it a lot with is generation, especially among his friends and it gives me hope.
Repressed emotion begets violence, either against oneself or others.
Shame is a spiral that only goes down.
But my point is someone is raising these badly raised men who are so caught up in their idea of masculinity that they cease to be human. Generational curses are hard to break, I know this. I broke them.
And sometimes it’s not just the mamas. Sometimes it’s the world or other women.
I have met some very broken men with good mamas and bad exes.
Now the therapy part.
I fucking love therapy, everyone should go. Everyone should always have access to a trained, non-biased individual whose only goal is your improved mental health and general contentment. Somewhere safe to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth it is a gift from god. And we should be able to try on therapists like shoes until we find one that fits and have different shoes for different occasions.
I realize that is unrealistic, but it shouldn’t be.
If I could, I’d be like Oprah in this.
YOU get a therapist, and YOU get a therapist, EVERYBODY GETS A FUCKING THERAPIST.
But mental health is a fairly new idea. And the toxic idea that we should just be able to handle whatever life throws at us is forced upon men a thousand times over. They are never allowed to be not okay. Asking for help is, again, construed as weakness.
Then you get a meme like this, which agrees with my above statements, but says it in a really bitchy way. We can drop the eye rolling any time now.
Everyone has their own path and they might be tiptoeing or striding along it. Or even standing still. It’s their path. Stop yelling at other people and work on your damned self. Grow your own horns or find someone without if that suits you better. More devils for me. Win win.
I am sick of people judging people really.
Why keep people in your life just to make them feel bad about themselves because they aren’t what you imagined them to be.
Rude.
The takeaway from all this?
Shame is bad.
Therapy is good.
And a devil without his horns is just a dude with a bumpy forehead, crippling anxiety and a lost sense of self.
