Damn, y’all are toxic.
Let me rephrase and qualify that.
Probably not the people on my page who take an active interest and have the wherewithal to actually click on the link to come to the blog instead of just commenting on the meme I use for the featured image.
Most of you are okay, if not amazeballs.
But jesus fucking christ some of these other ones.
Toxic as fuuuuuck.
I guess I am lucky and must exist in a bubble, or I choose to ignore or cut out certain ‘types’ of people in my real life. Whatever it is, I was shocked and appalled at the reactions to this meme I posted.
And this lady.
This is a verbatim comment on my page on this particular post
Sounds like a “sex worker” seeking customers to me. If your definition of pleasure’s got nothing to do with anything sex outside a good & healthy relationship,i’ve got no issue with my lover hanging out with he’s friends. This post kinda sound like a add for sex workers to me,besides, if my man’s happy in our relationship,he ain’t gonna have much time for ppl out there cuz he’ll be too busy having fun with me. Again,am not saying he can’t hang out with he’s buddy’s which includes female friends. There’s no way on earth am gonna be in a relationship that i’ve got to share my man sexually,nope,i don’t want no damn STD’s sister . LZG
Sis, who hurt you and why can’t you let it go?
And why is sex worker in quotes, are we imaginary?
I feel bad for her man, I truly do. I will bet money she won’t ‘let’ him watch porn.
Out of the 700 posts I have posted on ye olde blog I would hazard a guess that a good portion have contained something about ‘if you really love someone, you let them be themselves’ or ‘relationships are not tantamount to slave ownership.’
We all know I was married, we all know he cheated, we all know that I attained a state of stubbornness and crazy that I allowed the mistress to move in at one point. If memory serves, and sometimes it doesn’t, especially around then, it lasted February to September. I got caught cheating and was forcibly removed.
I started cheating in earnest in May of that year. Kicker was, I wasn’t technically ‘allowed’. There was no goose gander agreement. And while I technically agreed to the fine print, it wasn’t working for me. How could it. There was no room for renegotiation so I cheated.
He had spent years making damn sure I had no meaningful relationships outside of ours. I lost friends like a tree loses leaves in the fall for 7 years. Not entirely his fault, but still.
I was technically dependent, and he liked it that way.
Except it backfired, because I am me and I am likeable.
He still fusses that he can’t go here or there around where we lived because people judge him for how he treated me.
Well ya, what did you think was gonna happen? I am a good person, people like me.
Sounds like a lot of not my problem. I was a good farm neighbor, I helped when helping needed to be done. I was nice to people, I worked at the gas station and was pleasant to my co workers and customers. Not my fault they didn’t see his failed attempt at totalitarian Mormonism the way he wanted them too.
But that is narcissism 101. And has nothing to do with going forward.
From the things I post, and a few pages I share, I have noticed that I have amassed a small following of polyamorous people on my page. And I love them.
“I am too polyamorous for this comment section.” -Amy
Me too sis, me too.
I didn’t start out this way, see above where I was married, and he cheated*. I hated it; I didn’t want to share.
*Cheating is not polyamory. Polyamory is honesty and a custom agreement between the people in the polyamorous relationship.
But as all that water has gone under that bridge that I napalmed into oblivion, one of the first things I realized is that it wasn’t the sex that bothered me, it was the dishonesty and the ensuing, unending drama. So much drama.
The man I cheated on my husband with was polyamorous. The way he explained it and his honesty about his expectations and limitations from the beginning, plus the fact that he held me in the elevated regard and made sure I was emotionally okay all of the time made the whole polyamory thing make sense to me. He was a good partner, his extracurricular activities never affected me, he made sure of it. He stated he tried being monogamous a few times and he was fundamentally unhappy. I accept this.
Everyone has different needs and if you want a healthy relationship you should probably figure out what those needs are and make sure they are compatible with yours.
It is literally just accepting your partner for who they are.
The end.
He was 6’3”, blond, blue eyes and not monogamous.
He couldn’t change who he was anymore than he could grow or shrink a few inches.
Just is.
I doubt in my lifetime I will ever see the death of this traditional prison everyone calls marriage.
And I am sure I have said this before but literally every other contract has terms and conditions and escape clauses. There should be a renewal clause. Every 5 to 10 years a renegotiation. People change and grow apart. The 7 year itch is real and has merit. The divorce rate is over 50%, normalize not staying somewhere you are unhappy be it a job, a relationship, a city anything. We are not built to live the same year over and over until we die, unless you are and that’s fine too.
If I ever did get married damn skippy I would be checking in every so often to make sure they still wanted to be married to me. Who am I kidding? I’d know if it wasn’t working and I would leave gracefully. I will always leave a party before I am asked to.
It is unrealistic and downright disturbing for an adult to rely on another singular adult for everything until you die. That ain’t love, that’s dependence.
Yes love is grand and wonderful, and even though the term bae bugs me a bit, I do like what it stands for ‘before anyone else’. That doesn’t negate the need for ‘anyone else’ but it denotes respect and a hierarchy of sorts, that to me is perfectly acceptable.
I am taking back bae.
