Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
Tale as old as time
Beauty and the Beast
He fucked me 6 times yesterday and still thought I was hot enough to mention it at 6am, on our way to MacDonald’s drive thru on his way to drop me off on his way to work.
He called me beautiful and he is a beast.
Been looking for one of those for a long time and up until now they have been weighed, measured and I was left wanting.
Not anymore.
I thought I had one once, upon a time not that long ago, but he was all talk and no time for me.
So I left.
Why does it always have to be ‘I have you or I hate you.’???
Weren’t we just friends? Didn’t we trust each other a few weeks ago? We talked every day. Now I have to walk around this hole in my life. It’s just a puddle not a crater. I’ll live.
I was just one girl out of several on his roster.
I never understood the phenomenon of “You aren’t behaving the way I expect you too so I shall name thee whore, cast you out and never talk to you again.”
But honey…
I am a whore and damned proud of it. He was proud of me once. Showed me off to his friends with pics, but I never met them. Apparently I was the hottest of the girlfriends.
I didn’t win anything.
One would think that if a guy has a hot girlfriend said friends would hound him to do something about it. But what do I know?
His business partner managed to drive to Milton nightly, in the dead of winter to bang some random flavor of the month chick, repeatedly and raw.
I lived a lot closer and I got ignored so hard that I questioned my own existence.
When I said I couldn’t wait anymore Lumberjack said ‘You knew what you were getting into. I’m over it. You wasted my time.’
Wait…what?
You plucked a nympho out of thin air, basically winning the lottery and fucked me…4 times in 9 months? With 2 blowies and a finger bang thrown in, for what?
To be blocked on everything?
His last one left him because they never went out. So I never asked to go out.
I didn’t ask for much.
I tried to be understanding. I waited and waited and waited.
“She didn’t understand I work so much so I can have this house, she can come over any time.”
But I wasn’t allowed in that very same house after he moved upstairs.
It was over then and I hung on for 5 more months.
He stopped trying as soon as I put out.
That’s the norm.
Or it was…
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
From trashed to treasured.
My ex-husband called me a turboslut after he read the blog. Said he was ashamed he’d ever known me and touched me. You and me both buddy. I shudder and long for the day that my skin cells have regenerated enough times that they never knew you existed. Not long now.
We waited 3 months to sleep together and I went to prison for 7 years for honoring that probationary period.
Besides, I kinda am all those names I’ve been called.
I am not ashamed of it anymore.
Thought I had found someone who thought it was great too, but he never showed up to claim his prize.
Fuck him.
Over it.
Something wonderful happened the other day.
Something wonderful has been happening for 3 weeks now.
I told y’all I slept with a young Scorpio on the first date.
We went to see Get Out and we decided we weren’t done hanging out yet.
I was so fucking frustrated and he is so fucking hot I caved, maybe 20 minutes after I said I wasn’t gonna.
It was worth it.
I had joked that we wouldn’t last long enough to see Beauty and the Beast.
One of the previews we agreed on seeing whilst sitting in the theater. It wasn’t a joke. I figured he’d bail sooner than later. Why wouldn’t I?
They all do.
I fucked him, put my clothes on and he drove me home, all the while me thinking “that was really good, too bad I’ll never see him again.”
I even said it out loud before I shut the car door.
He came over the next night.
Not the one after that because I was working, but the next night.
Probably 15/20 days we’ve seen each other, at least for a few hours.
On the 14th day he asked me to be his girlfriend, even though he thought I’d say no. He wanted it enough that he took a chance. Of course I said yes.
When it’s been more than 24 hours since we’ve fucked he gets these lusty eyes. Or when he looks at me really. We’ve joked about fucking in bar bathrooms, it’s really only a matter of time.
I told him what ex hubby said, the turboslut thing.
He did something I wasn’t expecting, he took back the nickname and made it into a good thing.
He makes a lot of things into good things.
He said last night while we were lying in bed, pretty much out of nowhere, “I don’t know why these guys all left you.”
Honestly babe, I don’t know why they left either, but I am glad they did.
Beauty and her beast? He surprised me with tickets on Saturday. Walked nostalgically back through our first date. (You shushed me here)
The Adventures of Turboslut and her Fuck Monster.
My kind of fairy tale.