Something Old, Something New (Jesus part 3)

Only once in the history of me being the Mistress of Jesus did I ever call him.

I said before that I was raped.

I wasn’t just raped. I was held hostage and beaten in my own apartment for 7 hours. I escaped by zigging when he zagged and running across an icy parking lot without pants or shoes, to the neighbours. Once inside I didn’t call the police, I called his best friend.

My rapist was my ex. He was out on bail for beating me severely a few months prior. So badly people believed me when I said I got hit by a car. 3 months later he got caught and I bailed him out.

I didn’t know it at the time but I was experiencing Battered Wife Syndrome.

We were supposed to spend New Year’s together. I cancelled when he called me all drunk and mean.  Drinking violated his bail. I went to work instead, where there were bouncers and it was safe. He was waiting in my house when I got home, drunk and high out of his mind. Being at my house also violated bail.

Only once in the history of me and Jesus did I ever call him.

I used to carry this air of superiority. I was a ‘well behaved’ mistress. When Jesus and his girl walked into a restaurant I was in, I left. When I saw them walking towards me on the street I would cross to the other side.

I called him when I realized I could not be alone. And he came.

The sun went down and I was wide awake, skin crawling, petrified at every tiny noise. I was terrified the man who hurt me more than I knew was possible and who had threatened to kill me would come back, and do the rest of what he promised or more of the same. It was a nightmare.

Jesus came and stayed until the morning and held me as tight as my body could bear.

He left his fiancé sleeping in their bed, to climb into mine and take care of me. His Broken Concubine.

Quickly now, everybody feel sorry for me.

Now stop.

The fiancé I knew he had, and had no regard for, she didn’t know about me and I thought of her as an irritation, when I bothered to consider her at all.

Is emotional cheating worse than physical?

The answer is a resounding and undeniable

HELL YES.

Exhibit A

“I got drunk and she sucked me off. Sorry honey, it won’t happen again”

Versus

“I care about this girl and she is scared and hurt. I held her while she sobbed, rocked her to sleep, brushed the tears from her face, kissed her gently so I wouldn’t hurt her where he did and put my hands everywhere she wasn’t bruised and beaten. Sorry honey, it won’t happen again (because she said she can’t be my mistress anymore, only after I let it slip that you and I are getting married)”

Which one would break your heart?

The prosecution rests.