Persephone’s Perdition

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am neither in heaven nor hell just now.

Limbo it is.

I miss my card girls.

Especially Tina, she had a way of calling me on out my shit wherein I would immediately sit up and pay attention and stop doing the self-destructive thing I was doing. She also pushed me to work.

I could also just look at her and feel calm. She is back in 8 days.

I love having something to look forward to.

I still watch the door till 9 every night, even though he pulled a mind fuck and showed up at 10 one night, while I was playing cards. I shook, but we talked about this. Tina was next to me and I calmed down, finished the hand and then another…waiting for him to finish his beer, and then another.

I said I was learning.

For a minute he was warning me about coming. I could text him when I wanted and he would answer.

Now nothing.

It’s fine. Everything’s fine.

Things play out the way they are supposed to. This is divine law.

Here by my side an angel
Here by my side the devil
Never turn your back on me
Never turn your back on me again
Here by my side it’s heaven
~Matthew Good

See also

If you are going through hell keep going.
~Winston Churchill

Both have valid points. No one is by my side, and it is hell and so I shall keep going.

Live through this and you won’t look back
~The Stars, Your Ex-Lover is Dead

That is all it’s been lately. Just a series of live through this. Coast for a few hours then cue the next round of fuckery.

This has been my winter of discontent. Even with Florida and Mexico, all I could think about was getting back here. And now I am here and the winter never ends.

Maybe Persephone doesn’t want to leave.

My girl posted this and tagged me the other day…

My Girl: We have to go rescue Persephone, Hades has clearly kept her longer then what was agreed upon!

Me: I think she loved the devil

My Girl: She does, she is married to him…they have an agreement,.. And I think they broke it

Definitely broken.

How about we just let her make up her own damned mind? Could we do that?

There is a lot of debate about Persephone and her place in hell.

Most myths say she was tricked with pomegranate seeds and her mama throws a tantrum every year when she disappears into captivity, we call this winter.

But I have heard others. About how she made a choice, about how she ruled the underworld, stood by her man. Was a bad ass, not a prisoner but a willing participant.

She was picking flowers in a field, minding her own business and found the entrance to the underworld. She wandered down on her own. Made a decision and stayed. And her original name was Kore, which translates to the Destroyer.

She was stubborn and she stayed.

He put Persephone’s thrown right next to his and, unlike the other Gods, allowed her equal rule alongside him. *

That sounds perfect to me. I don’t need to be captured or owned. I came here on my own. Just let me sit beside you and contribute.

The alternate story has her creating Elysium. She made heaven.

I like bad ass Persephone better. I have long understood that devils need love too.

I would gorge on the blood of pomegranates just to stay.

Wake up dead man, can’t you see I’m starving…**

So far it’s just been tastes, nibbles and empty promises of being fed.

Then disappear.

Angel, angel or devil. I was thirsty and you wet my lips***

There is a running joke on this island I find myself on that spring doesn’t exist. It’s not funny because it’s true.

Maybe I don’t get a spring because of the choices I made. I ran to warm places and when I got back he was gone. And I came here anyways. Maybe I am only 2 months into my 3 months of perdition.

And just maybe I want to stay with the devil. Charon would take me home if I asked him to. Cerebos is my lapdog. I might have found this place by accident, but I danced with the devil by choice. And returned of my own volition.

I know he does bad things. I knew what I was getting into when I came here.

All I want to do is sit beside the devil and make hell a little more bearable for both of us.

 

 

 

 

 

*https://sites.psu.edu/tetirclblog/2015/02/05/greek-mythology-hades-and-persephone/comment-page-1/

** Holly McNarland

***U2