I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Revelation 22:13
See also
It’s happening again – the giant from Twin Peaks, not my Giant.
Wow.
You know…I kinda knew.
I posted this meme and one of the first comments was ‘I caught a ban for this.’
And I let it ride.
I stand by it. If my son doesn’t have an issue with something regarding the male collective, neither do I.
A guy who reported me for hate speech after plastering my page and other posted memes with essay after essay about how ‘rapists don’t mind if you call them rapists’, are you speaking from experience sir?
Personally, I think most rapists are in denial, even the court system backs them up, and society as a whole. Was she asking for it? I can give you the definitive answer on this, from experience, none of us were ever asking for it.
But weirdly, this is not what this is about.
I’ll get to it. I have had yet another post about pressure sex, cajoling, and the huge difference between Baby, its Cold Outside versus WAP a brewin’. But not right now.
I should also touch on an update regarding my last couple posts regarding do I have breast implant illness or silicone sickness or Lyme disease or what.
I don’t know yet.
I took 2 naproxene last week when the pain got bad. Found a Yin yoga guy on Youtube that I will include the link for at the end, and have booked 5 different appointments for blood work, x-rays, consultations et al. Had my x-rays today and it was this archaic looking machine that apparently had been retrofitted and modernized but it was fairly creepy and I had some childhood hospital flashbacks laying on the cold table, holding uncomfortable poses and my breath in a paper shirt.
Long story short, I don’t know anything more than I did last week but I am feeling better and doing something about it, which has put me in a better headspace.
When sisterwife got her tits done at the beginning of the whole mistress mess, her plastic surgeon told her “you need never wear a bra again.” We giggled at the wording, seemed so proper, but it became goals, first hers and then mine 6 years later. But that lil goatling Layla made it not so and I have had a size and shape discrepancy since 3 days after surgery and have been wearing a bra daily, for the last 9 years. So maybe this is the end of that. So mote it be.
Beginnings and endings. Oh look 407 words and I got back around to it.
Not my best nor my worst.
2020 has been about the same, not my best, not my worst. Actually, the year I got these boobs was my worst year, the 6 prior to weren’t so shit hot either. Basically from when sisterwife got hers done to when I got mine done, sucked. But it just kept sucking, and then I left.
It amazes me how much misery and angst I tolerated when all I had to do was leave.
It was scary yes, no doubt about that, but it was also worth it.
The last half of last year and the beginning of this one was my best.
I had some good ones before that. Milton comes to mind.
God, I loved that place and that time. I think of it often.
That was a beginning, and a good one.
I am a funny creature, I love change and new things, but I get scared. I suppose overcoming the fear is part of the delight, and if I didn’t get scared, I would be reckless. Bravery and stupidity are kissing cousins after all.
It was stupid to leave that meme up.
Thing is, I don’t care.
February 16th 2020 I woke up to a Facebook jail sentence of 30 days over a Bindi Irwin meme wherein the author stated ‘smh, white people are stupid’.
We kinda are.
We are reckless with our bodies because we don’t live in constant danger from everyday activities.
We swim with sharks, ride alligators, sky dive, and climb killer mountains. Because a routine traffic stop isn’t going to kill us, nor is going to the corner store. This is a luxury we have that others do not.
T’was a white person who reported me for hate speech then and a white boy who reported me this time. I said he was butthurt and needed therapy. He is butthurt and does need therapy.
He is not a monster, I love monsters, and danger is relative. But, like I said, I don’t really care.
But the timing is what is tickling me.
I have held this one golden thought close to my heart since the mess of 2020 began.
We had a Friday the 13th on a full moon in March at the end of the first retrograde and it happened to be daylight savings as well. I firmly believe that is when the hellmouth opened.
I have watched enough Buffy the Vampire Slayer to know, if a hellmouth can be opened, it can also be closed.
And, as if to drive home this lil personal truth nugget, the first day of the last retrograde, leading up to a full moon on Halloween which also happens to be a time change, I catch another Facebook ban.
I believe our life journey is not a straight line nor a graph of ups and downs in linear fashion. It’s a little rollercoaster-esque with the uppy downy, but its also a spiral. We get far from center and then circle back in for a closer look at where we have been to see if we have learned anything.
And I am the girl who got off the Hulk at Universal Studios and got right back in line to ride it again. Both truthful metaphor and literal truth.
I’ve been to the outer limits of my psyche. Most notably during a trip during the last retrograde in June/July. And the answers I found there, are serving me well this time around.
I feel like I am acing a test because I did the work and I studied really hard and I am quite giddy about it.
I panicked in February when I went to fb jail. I admit it. I opened a Twitter account that I rarely use.
I huffed and I puffed and I called in favor after favor. Nothing helped and eventually I just got used to it. And I will again.
This time, I truly don’t care.
As it is retrograde, and I was already mentally prepared, I had a list of old projects that needed working on and have been busting my ass trying to get to a place where I could sit down and just work on them.
Here I am.
With one less distraction.
Thanks Universe.
The turmoil that started this mess, is winding down, cosmically speaking. At least one planet has been retrograde since February 16th 2020, sometimes several at once. It was a bumpy year astrologically. This is the end, almost, Mars stations direct November 13th, the same day I get out of Facebook jail.
I do love that I have grown, I also love that I have this very concrete, tangible ‘a-ha’ moment, wherein I can see where I was, where I went and how far I have come.
I also love that we are nearing the end.
In the immortal words of the Weeknd “I feel it comin’, I feel it comin’ baby.”
Amazing the difference that comes from February to October.
October last year I quit my job, among other amazing things and started on this grand adventure, that, with a few hiccups and a plague, has actually been really fucking awesome.
I cannot wait to see what comes next.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0UsdewWXLA
