Disappointing Seals

The title of my last post was mildly misleading. I didn’t explain the Dildo part.

Nor Dick’s really.

Clickbait babes. I am not ashamed to admit I name things to get more hits.

Anything with sex fuck vagina or dildo gets read more often.

On the first day of adventures with my Ripley sisters they told me to call in late for work and get in the car.
They had to take me to this place and it was a secret.

Our destination had been chosen for 2 reasons. There were supposed to be whales feeding and breaching and, the name of the place. I was thinking it was going to be something like Immaculate Karma Bay or something mystical and magical.

They took me to Dildo Newfoundland.

That’s a real place.

The locals said it got lost in translation between the French and English.

In French it is D’isle de l’eau. The island of water due to an abundance of fresh water springs on a tiny island in the middle of the bay.

But ya, in the way white people do shit and the amazingly thick accents on the Newfies here… It’s now called Dildo.

I have never seen whales in the wild.

As we were driving and catching up on the first day, I started to look at this place with their eyes. Same as how I got to revisit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter by imagining the Last One beside me. I got to borrow a new set of eyes.

I forgot why I was here.

It is incredibly beautiful even in its rocky barren and decidedly brown state. Everything is brown or grey. It’s just rocks and trees and dirt. And it is beautiful.

Came back along Marine Drive on the 3^rd day and my eyes were well fed.

But on the first day…

We sat down to eat at the Dildo Dory Restaurant, overlooking the ocean.

I had a moment wherein I stated out loud, “I really hope we do see whales, I think that would fill me with profound joy.”

And we did, and it did. And in this moment I am happy.

You kinda have to relax your eyes and watch for what looks like puffs of smoke coming off the water. But when you finally see them, it is glorious. They were far away. I will get on a proper boat tour before I go and get closer.

Day two was a place called Bell Island. Dick’s is the name of the fish and chips place we went to. There was a theme to the trip. Best fish and chips since childhood suppers out at Erie Bell where I am from.

Third day I was in charge. I am not good at being in charge, but I had two things on my bucket list and 2 things I had already done that made me happy, so we did those things.

Finally went up to Cape Spear without a boy and actually got out of the truck and toured around. It is amazing and old and weird, just like this whole place. Tiny Dino enjoyed herself.

We went to Middle Cove, which is numbered among my happy places. Everything good starts there.

Finally made it to Mallard Cottage and the food was orgasmically good.

Between those two trips, we did a circle around the area, I actually planned that part okay. I took the girls to the Ocean Science Center. My last trip there the sun was out, the tide was high and the waves were crashing rainbows in this skinny little inlet, it was awe inspiring.

This time it was raining, the tide was low and nothing was crashing. It was just damp and yet still pretty.

I didn’t actually realize I had been there before, when my boss had tried to pry me out of one of my earlier funks by driving me around.

It was cold that day so we didn’t do much.

I’d been told that I just had to go back and see the seals. I was expecting some grand beautiful vista with seals lounging on rocks and puffins flying around.

Ya, that didn’t happen. It was 3 seals in 2 tanks with little ramps and platforms to hang out on, casually looking over their shoulders at us.

It was hilarious and kinda a metaphor for my experience with the boys here.

I get so excited, and they end up being just cute, big-eyed, lumps in a fenced in area. But I got so worked up about them, I forgot to drive around the island and actually look around at where I am.

This has been amended.

Amen.