Dicks in my Boxes

My boyfriend has got the most beautiful cock I have ever seen, like seriously. It is the stuff dreams and really good dildos are made of. I want to get one of the cheesy mould-a-dick plaster penis casting kits just so I can keep it forever and play with it when he isn’t around, or when he is, or whenever I feel like taking the dick out of the box.

You know what I don’t want?

A picture of it.

What in god’s name can I possibly do with a photo of it?

I am going to say this really fucking loud for the boys in the back.

WOMEN ARE NOT AROUSED BY PICTURES OF YOUR DICK.

It’s science.

I am a touch taste smell kinda girl. Other than the occasional sex scene in a move or well done bit of black and white erotic photography visuals don’t really do it for me. And that weird fascination I have with hentai lithographs, but we are just gonna leave that alone for now.

Yes, we all know men are visually stimulated…hence the booming porn industry, both film and print.

Don’t get me wrong, I will happily watch porn as long as it means I will happily be getting laid before, during and or after.

I think that is what it comes down to. Or I hope that’s it. Men like getting nudes from their girls so in a twisted attempt to please us or tease us, they send us what they want, thinking it’s what we want.

We don’t.

What I hope it isn’t, but it feels like it is, is an act of violence. ‘Here’s my dick whether you want it or not.” That seems rapey to me…because it is.

I was on a date once, said dude had offered to send me a dick pic the day before the date. I politely declined and he politely accepted and said he understood. So I went out with him (I swear I am handing out gold stars for basic decency) and then he had the fucking balls to send me the pic from the bathroom during dinner right after he asked “Do you want dessert?”
Because I said “Yes please!” ???

I wanted a brownie, I did not ask for a side of dick.

He ended up being pretty rapey too.

I have been on the receiving end of approximately 100 dick pics. It got out of hand during the 3 weeks I spent on Tinder and my Instagram was linked to my account. I even got a video, at least his bathroom was clean, I guess.

Out of the 100, one was sent with my express written consent, taken at a lovely angle and I wanted/liked it.

I posted that somewhere that 1/100 was acceptable and some man friend of a friend commented saying ‘you know the only thing these guys are going to read is that you liked one, prepare for the flood.’

Herein lies the problem.

I feel like women as a whole have made it abundantly clear that this is not working for us, and men keep ‘em coming, looking for any little crack in the armor to slip a little dick pic into.

I try to write about things with a sense of humor, but honestly, this shit is not funny. I haven’t said hi to you, we didn’t even match on Tinder and now you, a stranger are contributing to the PTSD that now gets triggered by the sound of my DM notification.

I seriously get taken aback and feel a little sick from this shit. It’s like opening a bag of chips and finding a severed toe. Which by the way is what half these pictures look like. You don’t have to be a professional photographer anymore to figure out lighting, angles, filters.

21 days minus 16 pics equals 84. 84 dick pics in 21 days? No that can’t be right. Ah yes, never mind, I shut my account down and they just kept coming. Which makes it really unacceptable, like I really didn’t ask for this. My pending messages looked like the lost fuckboi nation and none of them were wearing pants.

Wait, it’s always unacceptable whether I am on a dating site or not. To me there is no difference between a guy flashing his cock on a subway car (which happened to me) and this. It triggers the same fight, flight or freeze response. Just because I exist on social media doesn’t mean my door is open to harassment. That’s the same as saying I deserve to get cat called walking down the street because I left my house.

This article was triggered by a woman friend of mine, an incredibly gorgeous alt model with a pretty prolific social media presence posting publicly pics of a dick sending her dick pics. She hadn’t even said hi to him and there he was, in her inbox, smiling at the mirror, dick out. She lost it, and called him out and outed him really. “You wanna be an exhibitionist? Fine, here ya go. Welcome to my wall.”

Which reminded me of this http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/this-woman-turned-her-collection-of-unsolicited-dick-pics-into-an-art-show

There are websites dedicated to rating and displaying unwanted dick pics with hilarious commentary.

But it’s not funny anymore, if it ever was.

I propose a very basic rule of thumb (which is also what some of them look like) unless she asks you to see your dick, just keep it in your pants and out of her inbox.