A Giant Goodbye

“Babe, it’s only been a calendar month since I sat on your floor and cried on your kittens, what the hell happened?”

“I’ll tell you when you get here.” He said.

Having had been through my own bizarre run of extraordinary events in the same 30 days, I wasn’t overly surprised. We often run parallel, he and I.

And so I went.

That was not the easiest thing I have ever done.

But easy things are rarely worth it.

I had my own things that needed saying.

The only rule is, there are no rules.

Except maybe one… them tables, they always turn.

I went to the Giant’s the other night. Oh Giant, my Giant.

My first taste of lightning sex. He who has hands the size of dinner plates and knows exactly where to put them.

Not the safest place to be, I will admit.

But, in our way, where we would drift apart and back together just to ‘see’ if we could be faithful and pious, leave room for Jesus when we hugged. Sometimes we actually succeeded in seceding the union. Keeping boundaries firm. Well he did anyways, when he dated Becky.  I tried so hard to be good.

(Turn tables.)

Now t’was I who had devotion to prove. And I did.

Listened to his stories about his hot neighbor and how she had seen him for what he is, genetic gold, husband material and a jackpot in general. Home owner, nice truck, great bone structure, full head of hair, gainfully employed, plays guitar and sings beautifully, fucks like a beast, intelligent (why am I not over there right now again?)…lottery win beyond words About how she had made ‘jokes’ about her biological clock like clockwork and how they had been rather deafening. I know he wants a wife and children one day, (which answers the question why am I not over there right now) but not right now honey. He was overwhelmed and then underwhelmed. Luckily his mother did as I myself have done and said ‘it doesn’t matter if she says she’s on the pill, wear a condom anyways’.

Too much too fast.

How do we first begin to covet?

I get it sista, I truly do, more than you even. It’s been 2 years and 7 days.

So, what do I do when a Giant falls and I feel the rumbling over at my house?

I go to there.

I confirmed what he already knew, he had avoided quicksand, narrowly.

We spoke of tarot cards and palmistry, she had read his cards and not liked what she had seen. I never could or would read his palms again, I would put too much me into it, but she is a rookie. And again, see above where I don’t blame her one bit. He is glorious. A king dressed in rags who has amnesia ~  Alison Nappi

But he is starting to remember, I can see it when he speaks, and that too is glorious.

We spoke of soul mates too. We are kindred he and I and of this I have no doubt.

But

There is always a “but”…

I have come to realize (in a rather short period of time) that once we hold palaver with our souls, recognize them, tend to their needs, ask good questions and accept the answers. The mates being to appear. Sometimes in droves.

They come to learn and to teach us things that we couldn’t learn on our own.

To make us feel like home. To keep us company in the dark and to show us the way out. Like ghosts staying with us until we can start living again.

My covenant with him is not finished, but it has gone through a metamorphosis into something new.

Unconditional love and happiness for each other no matter what.

 

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Do you remember the late morning
When we went back to bed,
When we found the first position
And every muscle rested

I do remember that I already
Knew it was the last time,
The last time for first positions
The last time you’ll be mine

Do you remember the scars I showed you
The stories I told you
How I always said forever
When you asked me to stay true

Do you remember when we forgot
How to smile at each other
To believe that the other
Want only what’s good for you

Do you remember the late morning
When we went back to bed,
When we found the first position
And every muscle rested

I do remember that I already
Knew it was the last time,
The last time for first positions
The last time you’ll be mine

Ane Brun