It is the lunar new year. Smack dab in the middle of a very intense retrograde. Well, not the middle, 8 days left. Fuck the first 8 were rough, the 3 in the middle sucked so bad.
I followed the rules, or so I thought. There are always rules.
I watched a YouTube video of a woman telling us 18 things not to do on the lunar new year and I was like “shit shit shit I did ALL the things”. But in a weird stroke of good luck. I did them right before they would have been bad luck. The washing of the hair, the dumping of water outside, the sweeping all done in the time called before.
Phew.
Moving on.
The Facebook download of the last 12 years of my life is complete and now sits in 2 bizarre files on my laptop. Everything is there whether I want it to be or not.
I think I am going to do what I wanted to do before, get a new laptop and start fresh. AFTER retrograde. No buying electronics or large purchases while papa is dancing backwards.
My whole life, social media, storage both physical and digital is full of so many old pieces of me, there was no room for the new.
Same with this blog. I am embarrassed of some of the stuff on here, but I left it because it felt ‘complete’. The life of an archivist.
Giant organizes his music like I organized my life and I always found it weird.
Alphabetized complete collections organized in albums.
But what is the fun in that?
Where are the infinite playlists of awesome, wherein I can listen and remember driving to the quarry?
Driving to Ohio, driving to Newfoundland.
I did a lot of driving.
I pick and choose what songs I like. I loved U2 until Rattle and Hum, I loved Tori Amos but she got weird too. People grow and change, artists do things that don’t jive with what we loved about them. And then Miley Cyrus does a bunch of covers in her backyard and I have to admit, I love her voice.
The only constant is change.
No matter what I do or what I keep, doesn’t change the fact that all of that is water under bridges I probably already burned, or wouldn’t cross again if the were still standing.
I don’t need to keep everything. Just the good stuff, and maybe in 12 years the good stuff will look like the mess of old farm photos on my laptop that I was so scared of losing once, or the Facebook I was scared of losing, or the men or the friends.
History dictates no matter how hard we try to hold onto the past, it’s gone.
I did that with someone in my life too. I wanted things the way they were. I was taking his pontifications and predictions as gospel. They ain’t.
We don’t know how we will react until we are reacting.
People, places and things I thought I couldn’t live without are gone. And here I be.
Well, not here…
This blog is undergoing a slow migration to Patreon.
The new content is there, some of it is free.
I can’t count views like I used to, but there is money there for me and that is what is necessary, not some arbitrary number counting my imaginary popularity and giving it false value.
Still same old me. Well, not same same, I am evolving. We all are.
Different website
https://www.patreon.com/posts/no-secrets-in-of-47412802