I have hesitated to write anything, and this one won’t be long.
It’s not my turn to speak.
I usually write about sex, love and relationships. But that seems trite and unimportant in the wake of everything that is happening. I usually post about those things too plus poetry, astrology, witchy shit.
And lately I have stopped. I no longer feel comfortable being complacent.
Being non complacent is not comfortable either.
I am trite and unimportant, and I am okay with that.
It isn’t my turn to speak.
I went back and read an old post I had written when Roy Moore almost got elected.
63% of white women who voted decided a pedophile was better than a democrat.
Wow sis.
I hesitated to go back and look at the article I wrote in the time called before.
It was 2017 and I did not know then what I know now.
I was worried I had been offensive towards POC.
I stand by every word and I have a few to add.
I have banned and deleted over 800 people since I watched George Floyd being murdered.
Here is why.
He was murdered, by a stone faced racist police officer who believed in that moment, for 11 minutes worth of moments and for 4 days after the fact, that he would get away with it.
This is a fucking problem.
Nothing that has transpired after is as important as the series of events that lead us to a viral snuff film of a cold blooded murder.
All lives matter was created AFTER Black lives matter to undermine their issues.
I get that a few people are mistaking it for love and light, but I am telling you right now, it fucking isn’t. There have been 100’s of analogies as to why it is bad, and if you ignore that and continue to preach this, you are part of the problem.
Same with the not all cops are bad. Enough of them are, and the good ones don’t stop the bad ones. Guilt by association.
I just keep thinking back to #metoo and seeing my mom post it, and the little girls I used to babysit and every one of my friends.
And the seething shrieking rage I would feel when some douchey dude (who you know full fucking well has done some questionable shit) piped up with not all men.
Like fuck off and let us talk.
IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN… FINE, SHITTY AND ARROGANT BUT FINE.
DO NOT TRY AND MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU.
I can imagine it feels something like that for POC, but times a thousand.
There is a glaring difference, and an important one. I know, as a woman, the dread of being tipsy, leaving the bar and the danger that comes in that space between the bar and the cab. I know how terrifying it is to walk home after a late shift. BUT if I am with a group of other women, or escorted by male friends, the danger decreases exponentially. POC, don’t get that “luxury”. The danger never decreases.
The world is built for white male comfort, rallies around the ‘protection’ of white women and spreads fear of black men.
That woman who called the cops when she was the one breaking the law by having her dog off leash basically pulled a gun on that man.
We already have power, and this is how we choose to use it?
Nah sis. Do better.
Any time you hijack a BLM post you are diluting it to talk about your opinions and your problems and your life, you are part of the problem.
You are contributing to racism.
For the first time since my ancestors landed here I’m being asked to sit down and listen.
Not for the first time, but this seems to be the first time it really worked.
If you are not helping, you are in the way.
My decent or even not so good experiences with police officers do not fucking matter at all.
No one is talking to me or about me. And that is okay.
It is not my turn to speak.
It was a very strange sensation to realize that whether or not I had something to say, it didn’t fucking matter. I realized I am used to being heard. I realized I have benefited from a system designed to be comfortable for people with my skin tone and realizing that really fucking hurt. I felt shame and guilt and confusion.
But here’s the thing…
I struggled with this.
I felt like I needed to be different, special, forgiven.
Then I had a profound moment when I realized that this has absolutely nothing to do with me or how I feel.
And that my friends is the entirety of the point.